“Did he hit her?” — When domestic violence claims flip

Educational guide based on Romanian law. Not legal advice.

A night like too many

The first noise was a glass tipping—the kind of sound you forget until it happens at home. Mara said “stop,” Dan said “give me the phone,” and a hand that was meant to take turned into a push that turned into a fall. The neighbor knocked. The child stirred. When police entered, there were two red marks and two stories. “He hit her.” “She scratched me; I pushed her away.” Nights like this rarely fit into neat sentences. They sprawl across chronology, context, and fear.

What happens next is not a morality play—it’s procedure. And when accusations cross each other (each claims to be the victim), the details you document in the first hours decide the next weeks.

This guide explains, with current Romanian law and official practice, how authorities look at mutual accusations, what protective orders do now, how risk is assessed on scene, where self-defense starts and ends, and what evidence actually helps. All legal points below cite statutes or official bodies so you can verify them.

The legal frame you’re actually in

Domestic violence as a criminal context

In Romania, acts like battery/other violence (art. 193) or bodily injury (arts. 194–195) are aggravated when committed against a family member (art. 199). In 2025, the penalty for art. 193 was raised to 6 months–3 years or a fine; family-member aggravation under art. 199 increases the special maximum for those offences. (Portal Legislativ)

Protective orders: what changed recently

Since 2024, the protective-order regime has been overhauled into a new dedicated law. The Emergency Protective Order (EPO) is issued by police when there is imminent risk; it lasts 120 hours and is confirmed by a prosecutor within 48 hours before being sent to court. The court can then issue a Protective Order (PO) for up to 12 months. Breaching either EPO or PO is a crime (generally 6 months–5 years, higher for repeat violations). Proceedings are urgent; the court should resolve PO requests within 72 hours, and may decide the same day without summoning parties in exceptional urgency. These are now black-letter rules. (Portal Legislativ)

On-scene risk assessment and police powers

Police decide the EPO using a standard risk-assessment form (a structured questionnaire about threats, prior incidents, weapons, children’s exposure, etc.). If they issue an EPO, they can separate the parties immediately and enforce distance limits. (Ministerul Afacerilor Interne)

Electronic monitoring (bracelets)

Courts (and, in some setups, enforcement authorities) can require electronic monitoring to ensure an aggressor respects distance/approach bans. The national system (SIME) is regulated by Law 146/2021 and related Government decisions and has been phased up to nationwide rollout. (Portal Legislativ)

When “harassment” is the issue, not (only) blows

If the conduct is following, surveillance, repeated unwanted presence/messages causing fear, the offence may be harassment (art. 208)—often relevant when there’s “no hit, but he won’t leave me alone.” (Sintact)

“Mutual” violence vs. self-defense: what courts look for

Self-defense (legitimă apărare) justifies an otherwise-criminal act only if it was done to stop an immediate, unjust attack and the defensive response was proportional. The law explicitly defines this—courts test for immediacy, directness, injustice of the attack, and proportionality of the response. If you “retaliate after it’s over,” self-defense usually fails. (Lege5)

In cross-complaint situations (each points to injuries), authorities compare:

• Timing and location of marks (e.g., defensive scratches on forearms vs. blunt-impact bruises).
• Witness snippets (neighbors heard a crash, a child crying, a shout).
• Digital chronology (call logs to 112, messages right before/after).
• Medical findings (forensic certificates translate “it hurt” into measured lesions and likely age). (Poliția Română)

It’s common for both parties to show minor injuries. The question is who used unlawful force first, whether the other’s response stayed defensive and proportional, and whether there’s a pattern (repetition over weeks). That’s why chronologies and neutral documentation matter.

Protective orders in practice (2024–2025 rules, plain English)

• Emergency Protective Order (EPO) — issued by police on the spot if imminent risk exists; valid 120 hours (5 days). Prosecutor must confirm it (can maintain/alter/terminate measures). Then it’s forwarded to court together with a PO request. Breaching an EPO is a crime. (Portal Legislativ)
• Protective Order (PO) — issued by a judge for up to 12 months; typical measures include eviction from the common home, no contact/no approach, distance, weapon surrender, temporary child-handover logistics, and counseling. Breach is a crime. The court can rule without hearing parties the same day in exceptional urgency, and hearings are urgent with a 72-hour target. Appeal is allowed within 3 days. (Portal Legislativ)
• Monitoring & enforcement — Police must serve and enforce immediately; courts/police may add electronic monitoring to reduce breach risk. (Poliția Română)

First 24 hours: what helps when stories collide

1. Call 112 if there’s any risk. This creates a verifiable time-stamp and dispatch record.
2. Let police run the risk assessment; answer factually, separately if asked. EPO is for safety, not “guilt.” (Ministerul Afacerilor Interne)
3. Seek medical evaluation quickly. Forensic (medico-legal) certificates translate marks into measured, dated lesions—key in court and for any PO. (AvocatNet)
4. Write a clean chronology (hours, who said/did what, who was present, what objects were moved).
5. Save evidence without “curating” it: timestamps, photos, call logs, messages, door-cam captures. The court can rely on short-form evidence (it avoids proof that needs long administration at the PO stage). (Portal Legislativ)
6. Children logistics: propose neutral hand-over points, fixed windows, and app-based messaging to minimize friction (judges ask for specifics). This is standard in tailored PO measures. (Portal Legislativ)

When the claim flips mid-process (“he says she hit him”)

Cross-allegations are common. Here’s how practice tends to separate impulse from pattern:

• Pattern indicators: prior calls, earlier EPO/POs, neighbors’ prior reports, messages that show control or stalking over time. (Poliția Română)
• Defensive vs. aggressive injuries: linear superficial scratches on forearms/hands often appear in defense; larger ecchymoses from blunt impact are consistent with pushing/striking. The medico-legal report will date likely lesion age (e.g., 12–24h). (AvocatNet)
• Consistency with environment: broken items, floor scuffs, placement of objects.
• Who sought help first: the first 112 call and hospital visit timing are often decisive.

None of these is determinative alone; together they form proportional, contemporaneous proof rather than retrospective narratives.

Self-defense, proportion, and “who started”

Self-defense (art. 19) is a justification (the act isn’t criminal at all if conditions are met). Key tests:

• Immediate, unjust attack against you/another and
• A defense proportional to that attack.

If someone grabs your wrist and you slam them into a wall, a court may find excess; if someone charges you, a push away may be proportional. Each case is fact-specific; that’s why exact timing and body maps matter. (Codurile Penale)

If both parties used unlawful force, prosecutors may treat them as co-authors (or qualify one act as defensive and the other as primary aggression). The “who started” question is answered with timelines, marks, and witnesses, not volume or regret.

Evidence that actually moves the needle

• Forensic certificate (medico-legal): lesion type, size, color, likely age; links symptoms to timing. (AvocatNet)
• 112 records: call time/content; officers’ on-scene notes and risk form. (Ministerul Afacerilor Interne)
• Digital traces: texts, call logs, audio/video; screenshots with context (before/after, not just one “bad line”).
• Witnesses: neighbors, relatives, doormen; what they heard/saw (not opinions).
• Pattern proof: prior complaints, prior EPO/PO, threats consistent with harassment (art. 208). (Sintact)

At the PO stage, the court can rely on short-form, quick evidence and decide fast—you are not trying a full criminal case there. (Portal Legislativ)

Breach and enforcement: where risk turns into crime

• Breach of EPO/PO is its own criminal offence (generally 6 months–5 years, higher for repeaters). Police must enforce immediately; courts/police can add electronic monitoring to reduce breach risk. Report every breach promptly—delays undermine risk assessments. (Portal Legislativ)

Children, contact, and “the hand-over that explodes”

Judges expect operational solutions: where a child is exchanged, who is present, how long the waiting window is, and which app is used for logistics-only messaging. This reduces flashpoints and helps compliance monitoring. These measures are routine within tailored PO orders. (Portal Legislativ)

Frequently asked questions

If each of us has injuries, will the court “split the blame”?
Not automatically. It tests sequence and proportionality. The one who initiated the unlawful force is at serious risk unless the other’s response grossly exceeded limits. Medico-legal dating, 112 timing, and on-scene notes carry weight. (AvocatNet)

Can the police remove someone from the home at night?
Yes—via EPO with immediate measures (distance, no contact, temporary eviction) where imminent risk exists, followed by prosecutor confirmation and court review. (Portal Legislativ)

How fast does the court decide a protective order?
PO applications are urgent; as a rule, the court should decide within 72 hours, and can even issue the order same day without summoning parties in exceptional urgency. (Portal Legislativ)

What if the problem is stalking and messages, not blows?
That can be harassment (art. 208). Protective-order measures also cover no contact/no approach and electronic communication bans. (Sintact)

Will an old screenshot hurt me?
Courts weigh context and timing. For POs, they can rely on short-form proof but still look for patterns rather than isolated quotes. Provide full threads where possible. (Portal Legislativ)

A practical checklist when claims flip

• Safety first: if risk exists, call 112; accept separate interviews.
• Medical now: ask for medico-legal evaluation promptly. (AvocatNet)
• Chronology: write times, places, who was present; don’t dramatize—document.
• Evidence: save photos, messages, logs; hand them over in sequence.
• Children: propose neutral hand-overs and app-only messaging for logistics.
• Comply: if an EPO/PO is served, comply to the comma; breaches are criminal. (Portal Legislativ)
• Counsel: consult a lawyer before long statements; keep communications civil and traceable.

Key sources you can check

• Law on Protective Orders (2024, updated 2025): emergency order by police (120 hours, prosecutor confirmation, urgent court review), PO up to 12 months, breach = crime; urgent timelines (often within 72 hours). (Portal Legislativ)
• Criminal Code: battery/other violence (art. 193) penalties raised in 2025; domestic violence aggravation (art. 199); harassment (art. 208); self-defense criteria (art. 19). (Portal Legislativ)
• Police risk assessment & EPO practice: standard risk form; Romanian Police materials on EPO. (Ministerul Afacerilor Interne)
• Electronic monitoring (SIME): national legal basis and expansion. (Portal Legislativ)

Original Romanian article

This English piece adapts the Romanian post: „A lovit-o pe ea?” sau violență întoarsă. (Măglaș Alexandru)

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